Trust Within = Fear?
Today, actually a few minutes ago, I stood in my hallway. With walls all around, I decided to spin around with my arms out. This hallway is not big might I add. If I would have moved a few inches over, i would have for sure hit my fingers. Even though I was in full control of what I was doing, I was still afraid. I did not have my arms out all of the way, even if I tried. My arms kept coming in closer to my body. What was I afraid of? Hitting my fingers against the wall? I am not quite sure... The more I spun apparently did not have an effect on my fear, because I was still scared. Maybe it is reflexes. Maybe my body knows not to do something if it knows it could easily get hurt. Maybe it is just because my body does not trust my terrible ballerina moves and realizes that the odds of me tumbling over and hitting the wall are very high... Maybe. But I was still scared. Even though I had total control. I was the only one moving, not the walls. Then what is it that did not let me spin with my arms fully out to the sides?
For those experts out there who think they know close to everything there is to know about the psychological way we behave in certain situation, theories can come from whatever and are everywhere. But is it actually real or is it just our bodies or brains that come up with these things just to make sense of things and give us closure, give us satisfaction to our mysteries? Multiple times a day I look at the way people behave, including myself, and give reasoning for it. It just comes to me and it makes sense. Those who know me, if they pay attention, can most likely catch me doing thing many times in conversations. It makes me feel better when I do this. I feel better because I feel smart and right. But am I right? Do I have such a big bias that I can not even tell if I am even close to right? Is it our subconscious that has the ultimate and last word in what we do?
Can we learn to ignore our trust? Can we learn to ignore our fears? Fear is our body protecting us from danger. Do we need that protection anymore to survive? Are we as a society more educated and smarter than our instincts? Our instincts our there for a reason. Yes, some fears may have been placed there by the individual themselves, but I am talking about the ones that have always been there since the first interaction with the fear. Something that are difficult to get over. I have a fear that contradicts myself. Heights. I am afraid of heights. When I was a little girl my father told me once that he was afraid of heights. I, being a daddy's girl, wanted to be just like him. I set my mind to it before I had even been in contact with heights. Thanks to that, I am till this day afraid of heights. I wonder if that fear is more then just a fear of height, maybe I am holding on to something.
One day, maybe I will be able to get over the security and be able to spin around in the hallway without my fear taking over? We will see...
http://chatter-fest.com/conquer-you-fear-of-height/
~Josephine
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